Hyper-fixation is a disease but it is so funnnnn to be consumed by something sometimes.
Like the rush I had a few weeks ago when I couldn't stop thinking about all the connections between Taylor Swift and the 1975's discographies. Or when I couldn't put down Sylvia Plath's collected journals.
Or like this week, when Challengers is all I'm thinking about. Mike Faist.
Even just yesterday Syd Gon and I recounted a convo I had previously had with someone about how if I happened to not be fixated on and deeply invested in Taylor Swift lore, there are sooo many conversations happening all around me that I would miss out on. Even just in my immediate community, so much conversation is propelled by our shared interests. It's so awesome. (Like Linley and I lingering in the parking lot of the high school after lunches just to talk about Hamilton on every Monday for weeks on end.) And like I can't wait to hang out with Syd Gon today because saw Challengers last night and chats like this are what make life feel so full and fun and like we are all connected - what art is for. Boys act like they don't understand how we all care but it's really no different from sports, right? And plus, yardy know that I live by the idea that things that are popular aren't popular on accident. Nothing becomes a cliche because it isn't true. And nothing becomes "basic" or "mainstream" because it isn't good.
There is something so intellectually satisfying about a deep-dive into a topic. Watching press tour videos after Challengers?! It feels like a physiological need.
Anywho, just like that movie is a testament to what happens when you become consumed by something, i think I'm due for a wake up call somewhere along the way. I need to try micro-dosing fixations, or at least hyper-fixating in moderation. I don't like when I feel like I actually can't tug my brain away from a topic when I'm in conversation with someone else. Even if I want to bring it up, I shouldn't have to. And, of course, the subtext of this paragraph is that I feel myself actively choosing my little hyper-fixations over time with Jesus. Picking up my Emily Henry book instead of my Bible. Making time for TikTok research but not for prayer.