Idk if this is okay to say but it's true. I'm not adding an image because that feels like too much.
Joe Coscarelli and Tyler Bainbridge are both happily married/engaged and I am so happy for them but also intensely jealous of their wife/fiancé. And from a distance that's ok, right? I also recognize the creepiness of this. But they also know that they are public figures of a sort and maybe young girls having crushes on you comes with that status? (an: And is that okay? Is that a two-way street? Or even more so for women?)
I'm figuring no one that would care about me saying this will ever see it, and it needs to be memorialized as a marker of this time in my life.
I love smart boys who are interested in what I'm interested in it and talk about it so eloquently and thoughtfully and with a good little giggle. I just love to talk about things and the thought of a boy who knows more about them than me and also loves to talk about those things is so wonderful to me, not in an internalized patriarchal way but in a I-have-questions way. The convenience of a walking encyclopedia/thinker tank being relationally obligated to me that also happens to adore me and I, him. Lovely lovely lovely