Most people who know me wouldn't call me a "feeler," I think.
Though they likely are aware that I'm a sensitive gal, and maybe am given a little more to flighty emotion in that way than others, I don't think I would be who comes to mind when they think of a friend who is characteristically emotional.
I wouldn't consider myself in that category, either. I think back to all the times my mom has shared a headline of tragic news with me, and I just stare back at her (now; I unfortunately used to lose the battle against the urge to utter "ok?" or "I'm sorry and that's sad but I don't care. Why are you telling me this?").
I would maybe even categorize myself with the troupe of "unfeeling" girls. I've entered this mode where I'm pretty numb to the follies of life.
But what's really crazy is how this movement toward being unmoved is a reaction to the way that I am painfully upset by random things as I go about my day. Right now, I'm sitting in Panera at 11:30am and I'm having to coach myself to not think any thoughts as a give sweet smiles to the elderly people here alone. My nose is literally stinging as I type that. This is why I hate going to the grocery store. The weight of the world is so heavy.
The weight of the world is so heavy.
My chest sinks with it. My mind races hopelessly at it. What can I do? What can I do? What, please, can I do?
