Class today left me w a lot of random thoughts & to-dos for Maddie Joyner's life -----
I'm so impressionable. And so accommodating. Why am I aiming to just absorb all these articles and chapters instead of READING them?! My classmates seem grounded in their own ideas and theories because they have thought critically about all these ideas we receive. Maddie's turn
And along those same lines, am I so impressionable that I would love.go along with the protocol in any school? Would I even know that ESCHS is an option? Am I even appreciating the cool things about ESCHS fully or just accepting them and moving on?
In thinking about how important it is to me that if I ever am to marry that it should be to someone who is an equal (or "better") thought partner to me, someone who is "thoughtful" in the full-of-thought, critically thinking about things way. And then I realized that my preferred mode of communication, really, is Substack talk. I like op-ed style of conversational essay. Which is so ironic since I am soooo afraid of opinion (in my own thought processes). Which is something that today has reminded me I need to work on. Have em girl
Why do I think, so deeply but unconsciously, that what I have to say doesn't matter? And better – what can I do to fix it? It affects so sooo many parts of my life and my personhood and I want it to stopppp. 🎶It doesn't have to be like this🎶